we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
