I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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