Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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