please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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