I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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