Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
