did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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