Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
