Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
