Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?

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(212): View more from New York

I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.

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(206): View more from Washington

I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death

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(347): View more from New York

i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had

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(954): View more from Florida

Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.

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(712): View more from Iowa

buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.

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(305): View more from Florida

So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates

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(706): View more from Georgia

He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?

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