scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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