Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
