Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
