absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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