he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
