physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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