You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
