so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
