Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
