By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
