someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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