He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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