Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
