1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
