We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
