Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
