My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
