Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
