Your tits are I can't wait for
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
