At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
