yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
