I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
