if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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