I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
don't judge my taste in strippers
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
