cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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