...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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