There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
