Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
