you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
