So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
