Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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