My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
