we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
