you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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