Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
