I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
