so that wasnt chicken after all
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
