sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
