maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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