Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
