Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
