I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
